Movie review of Miley Naa Miley Hum

Any other more deserving struggler in his place might have been given a boot strong enough to leave a longlasting mark on the bum, butChirag Paswan, the son of an influential politician, gets his first Bollywood launchpad served on a silver salver. And one would have no qualms in accepting him as a possible actor, let alone a star, had the lad even thimbleful of talent, a fluky moment of charisma, or a frame-worth of screen presence. But no! Chirag is more wooden than a plank, more uptight than a mannequin and has no ladykiller looks either. So watching this newbie sleepwalk through two-plus long hours of this regressive cinema called Miley Naa Miley Hum is like a slumberous loll on a sleepy afternoon. 

The story seems to have been filched straight from the dusty archives of the cinema of the ’80s. Chirag (see! the script’s literally written for him) is torn between his separated parents, played by Kabir Bedi and Poonam Dhillon. Both love him but want him to marry the girl of their choice. So while Papa settles for a Punjabi friend’s daughter (Neeru Bajwa), Mom dear zeroes down on an NRI (Sagarika Ghatge). A few unguarded moments and a song each with the two girls has Chirag running for cover. To ward off the pressure from his overbearing parents, he lies to them that he has a girlfriend, and she is none other than a model named Anishka. Enter Kangana Ranaut. 

To turn his lie to truth, Chirag makes a luring offer to a snooty Anishka to pretend as his girlfriend for 20 days. And on the side, he pursues his passion for tennis (where the blazes does this come from!!), somewhat sagged by the constant tiff between his feuding parents. The drama eventually boils down to the day when Chirag plays his crucial match and voila! his parents unite to lend him moral support just when the match is all but slipped from his grasp. 

Writer-director Tanveer Khan tries to splice together a love story with family drama and squeezes it all in the template of a sports movie in the climax. But it all turns out to be a bit of a hodgepodge because none of the said tracks have depth, subtlety or smarts. Chirag’s acting potential has already been spoken of, but what’s disappointing is that Kangana Ranaut is reduced to a screechy and vain glamdoll. The other two ladies, Neeru Bajwa and Sagarika Ghatge have pretty little to do. Only Kabir Bedi and Poonam Dhillon come up with performances meriting a nod. 

The music and cinematography is strictly passable. Tanveer Khan’s direction is amateurish and the product placements too in-your-face. The tennis match scenes are so shoddily choreographed as to inspire even a Nadal for premature retirement.